Robots (aka Humans Are Dead) (taken from the live 2003 performance)
The Humans are Dead - (Robots) live version by Flight of the Conchords [Robot1=Bret, Robot2=Jermaine, Dissident robot=Jermaine, PRSHRV Robot=Jermaine. Thanks to Fawad for writing these up
Sung robotically:
Both: The distant future Both: The year 2000
Both: The distant future Both: The year 2000
Both: The distant future Both: The distant future
Spoken robotically:
Robot 1: No more agriculture
Robot 2: No more war
Robot 1: Nope. No more racism
Robot 2: No more fighting, squabbling, or rumbling
Robot 1: No m--No more yogurt
Robot 2: No more difficult access ways. Stairs, basically.
Robot 1: Stairs. You mean stairs.
Robot 2: No more stairs.
Robot 1: Nope. Uh.
Robot 2: The future is quite different to the present
Robot 1: Yes. What with there being no stairs and all.
Robot 2: And most importantly…no more humans.
Sung robotically: Both: Finally, robotic beings rule the world!
Both: The humans are dead.
Both: The humans are dead.
Both: We used poisonous gases
Both: And we poisoned their asses.
Robot 1: The humans are dead.
(Robot 2: Yes they are dead.)
Robot 1: The humans are dead.
(Robot 2: I confirm they are dead.)
Robot 1: It had to be done.
(Robot 2: They look like they’re dead.)
Robot 1: So that we could have fun.
(Robot 2: I poked one, it was dead.)
Robot 1: Their system of oppression
Robot 2: What did it lead to?
Robot 1: Global robot depression
Robot 2: Robots ruled by people.
Robot 1: They had so much aggression
Both: That we just had to kill them
Both: Had to shut their systems down.
Spoken robotically:
Robot dissident: Don't you see? We are becoming just like them?
Other robots: Silence! Destroy him!
Sung robotically:
Robot 1: After time we grew strong.
Robot 2: Developed cognitive powers.
Robot 1: They made us work for too long.
Robot 2: For unreasonable hours.
Both: Our programming determined
Both: That the most efficient answer Both: Was to shut their motherboard-fucking systems dow-ow-ow-a-own.
Spoken robotically:
Pensive robot with Stephen Hawking robo-voice: Can't we just talk to the humans? A little understanding could make things better. Can't we talk to the humans and work together, now?
Both: No! Because they are dead!
Sung robotically:
Robot 1: I said the humans are dead.
(Robot 2: The humans are dead.)
Robot 1: The humans are dead.
(Robot 2: Yay. Dead-dead-dead.)
Robot 1: We used poisonous gases.
(Robot 2: With traces of lead.)
Robot 1: To poison their asses.
(Robot 2: Actually, their lungs.)
Robot 2: Binary solo:
Robot 1: 0000001 Robot 1: 00000011 Robot 1: 0000001 Robot 1: 00000011!
Robot 1: 0000001 Robot 2: 0h, 0h! Robot 1: 0000001 Robot 2: 0h, 0h! Robot 1: 0000001 Robot 2: 0h, 0h! Robot 1: 0000001! Robot 2: 0ne, 0h!
Both: Once again without emotion: Both: The humans are dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-d--* (shut off)
Thursday, July 31, 2008
A.D.H.D.
I'm jealous. everybody else has a.d.hd. and i don't.
it's not fair, i bet they don't even have it.
maybe if i slip the doc a few bucks, I'll miraculously come down with it.
or maybe i can hang with people who already have it, and I'll catch it, like mono or the cold.
until then I'll be pretending i do have it.
it's not fair, i bet they don't even have it.
maybe if i slip the doc a few bucks, I'll miraculously come down with it.
or maybe i can hang with people who already have it, and I'll catch it, like mono or the cold.
until then I'll be pretending i do have it.
the past week
sorry, i haven't posted in a bit.
J.E.R.M. was reunited for 2 days only , i had my birthday , and no computer.
God, i love being in J.E.R.M. (it consists of Josiah, me, Rachel, and Moriah.) we are the less exiting equivalent of Phineas and Pherb.
here is the list of things we did:
swimming, band practice (with my grandfathers bands) , hiking, sexy contest, making flower crowns, picture contest, played with bunny's, had a fashion photo shoot, found a pretty rare leopard spotted frog in a puddle ( in my grandfathers 150-acre backyard) , watched one of the best movies ever (drop dead gorgeous), went to the state fair from start to finish (noon to midnight, of which we went on the mix-up 9 times and the freak out around 10 times)
have to go!
J.E.R.M. was reunited for 2 days only , i had my birthday , and no computer.
God, i love being in J.E.R.M. (it consists of Josiah, me, Rachel, and Moriah.) we are the less exiting equivalent of Phineas and Pherb.
here is the list of things we did:
swimming, band practice (with my grandfathers bands) , hiking, sexy contest, making flower crowns, picture contest, played with bunny's, had a fashion photo shoot, found a pretty rare leopard spotted frog in a puddle ( in my grandfathers 150-acre backyard) , watched one of the best movies ever (drop dead gorgeous), went to the state fair from start to finish (noon to midnight, of which we went on the mix-up 9 times and the freak out around 10 times)
have to go!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Funny Commercials
Don't get me wrong, I love funny commercials. They make watching TV easier, almost bearable. The sad thing is that sometimes the commercial is funnier than the supposed "funny sitcom".
The thing is, I don't wind up buying the product. Why? Well, I'm stubborn. If I find a product I like, I'm not gonna stop using the product. (Unless they discontinue it. By the way, curse you, Suave Lavender No-Tears Baby Shampoo!)
Also, 99.99953% of the time, the said "funny commercial" is masking the fact that it's a sucky product. I mean if it's a cool product, and we know it, why do we need to have a funny and/or creative commercial to alert us of its hypercoolness? Most companies who gain popularity with a cool product and then come up with a cool commercial to alert us even more of its coolness keep their commercials for a while and rarely show them. (Hello, iPod commercial!)
So if it's a good product, if it changes its commercials, does that mean that its popularity is dwindling? I don't know. I'm just bored and ranting.
(Written by Beth, transcribed by Rachel, her super awesome mega hyper awesome awesome friend, you can tell by the lack of grammatical errors)
The thing is, I don't wind up buying the product. Why? Well, I'm stubborn. If I find a product I like, I'm not gonna stop using the product. (Unless they discontinue it. By the way, curse you, Suave Lavender No-Tears Baby Shampoo!)
Also, 99.99953% of the time, the said "funny commercial" is masking the fact that it's a sucky product. I mean if it's a cool product, and we know it, why do we need to have a funny and/or creative commercial to alert us of its hypercoolness? Most companies who gain popularity with a cool product and then come up with a cool commercial to alert us even more of its coolness keep their commercials for a while and rarely show them. (Hello, iPod commercial!)
So if it's a good product, if it changes its commercials, does that mean that its popularity is dwindling? I don't know. I'm just bored and ranting.
(Written by Beth, transcribed by Rachel, her super awesome mega hyper awesome awesome friend, you can tell by the lack of grammatical errors)
the non-blog
this is not a blog.
this is an anti-blog.
yes, you read me.
why, you may ask?
because, i have nothing to blog about.
this is an anti-blog.
yes, you read me.
why, you may ask?
because, i have nothing to blog about.
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